Coping with the death of a child

By Sandrea

How do I cope with the death of my child?  This is a question that many people asked themselves, if this tragedy falls on them. But the first thing to remember is that the death of any child is tragic and if you were not in the position to prevent that death then beating up on yourself will not make the pain any less.

Many people lose their children after birth and there are many reasons for a child to die, this could be due to some abnormalities that were not not detected during the pregnancy, a baby can choked to death from the umbilical cord, although rear, but the list is extensive as to the cause of infant death.

When a parent lose a child even if that child was only with them for a few minutes, hours, days the tarauma is nonetheless still painful to bear, and considering that the baby may only be a few hours, days or week old, still leave the parents with tremendous grieve.

But to lose your child because he are she has been murdered must be top of the list in coping with the lost of a child.  Over the last few months a number of parents have lost their children to knife crimes.  You cannot equate the pain and devastation that a family goes through, especially when it is a teenage death.

Clinical psychologist has stated that ‘the death of a child put great strain on a couple because they do not know how to cope with the grief’. I can understand only too well.

Ten years ago my aunt lost her 20 year old son to a knife crime, he was stabbed in the chest and died on the spot.  This devasted our family simply because he lost his life over five dollars that was owed to him. I have watched my aunt go from a happy person to one with such sadness, but the unity of our family and our faith, pull her through the dark days, this enabled her to emerge from this trauma much stronger and although she cannot forget her son she can cope with losing him

I understand the difficulties for a family when you lose a child whether it is a new born baby, toddler, teenager, or even an adult child.  It destroy families, it breaks up marriages and the pain does not subsides.

My advice to anyone that this has happen to, is to keep your family close, do not let this destroy your life, this is the time that you need to hold on to the ones you love.  The child that you lost will alway be with you, you carry them in your heart and so long as you are alive they are an extension of your life.

Despite the trauma, the pain, the anger, the frustration, misery and human emotion that you go through, you have to remember that the things that do not break you make you stronger, and for anyone who is today experiencng this tragic event, know that you are not alone and regardless of how you are feeling right now, the pain will subside.

Find your inner strenght, find that place inside of you that tells you that you are a survivor and no matter what you will come through this with a strong resolve.