By Sandrea

It seems unfair to always focus our attention on the ails of what women have to endure within relationships, we sometimes have a tendency to make it appear the women are inferior and that they are the only ones that can be cheated on, abused, disrespected and made to feel like a fool.  However, I have been reminded that there is another gender that hurts.

An associate who his an avid reader of the articles on my website reminded me that not only the female of the species got feelings, there are men who have been abused, maybe not physically, more emotionally and they hurt especially when they are taken for a ride, conned, and treated like an idiot.

He met a young lady at a nightclub she looked good and being a man he quickly introduced himself and she reciprocate and from that a two year relationship ensued.

He did everything for her bought her expensive gifts took her out for intimate dinners, pamper to her every needs.  After two years into the relationship he felt that it was time to take the relationship to another level, so he proposed to her and she accepted and for him life was almost complete, all he wanted was for them to get married and start a family.

Having bought up in a strict family environment he ensured that he never farther any children, he wanted his children to be with his wife and not all over the place with different women like he was creating a road map, so for a black man to have that kind of thinking is rather rear, so he waited.

They decided to move in together and he was happy he get to come home every evening to the girl of his dreams, the love of his life, he could not ask for anything better.  So he was amazed when they when back to the same club he initially met her and a friend  told him that the love of his life was cheating on him.  He got very angry, no way could she be cheating, his friend was only jealous, what time would she had to cheat, apart from going to work the only place she when without him was the local gym. His friend told him that she has been cheating on him for the last six months and he remembered that she in fact only started going to the gym six months ago.

Why, he asked himself his this friend ruining a perfect relationship with lies, however he played it cool when his friend told him to secretly follow her when she say she’s going to the gym and he will see for himself.  That night when they return home there was a constant voice in his head that kept telling him that his friend was wrong and he was going to prove it and he was not going to upset his girlfriend with what he was told.

So on the monday, following the weekend, she pack her gym things and off she when supposedly to go the gym.  He waited for a few minutes got into his car and tailed her.  He was surprise when she did not take the turning that would have led her to the local gym, he started shaking, sweat pouring down his face, he had to remember that he was driving and he needed to concentrate.

She eventually pulled up outside a chinese restuarant, parked and got out of her car, he was amzed she did not recognise his car passing by. He found a place hurriedly parked his car and walked back to the restuarant, it was nightime so the cover of darkness helped him.  What he saw when he peeped into the restaurant haunted him for days and weeks and months. There was his intended wife locked in the arms of a strange man, passionately kissing him. He felt like he was about to vomit, he watched them been seated, them holding hands across the table and he notice that her engagement ring were no where in sight.  Unable to bear anymore he left and when home.  Two hours later she came home, ‘have a nice time at the gym’, he asked, “always” she replied.  How could she lied so easily.

For the next few weeks he followed her each time she was supposedly going to the gym and each time she met her other bloke.  He had to put a stop to this he would no longer bear the farce anymore, enough was enough, this has been four consecutive weeks.

He confronted her told her that he was aware that she had a lover and that he knows about her clandestine affair for weeks and he cannot abide being cheated on and he did not deserve that kind of treatment.  He thought she was going to be remorseful, but instead she handed him her engagement ring, told him that she would be back to collect her things, why did you do this to me he called after her.  She stopped turn to him and told him that the man she is cheating with his a better lover than he his and her life revolve around having good sex which he could not provide.

Why could she not have told him so, he did not believe that he was half bad in the bedroom, but obviously she believed he was. He’s still hurting from his first real long term relationship and vow that he’s going to refrain from being so trusting in the future.

In my opinion, that was a disgraceful way to treat anyone, good men are very hard to come by and if women treat the good ones this way it is going to make it very hard for the genuine females out there who really want a good man.

So women be very careful how you treat another human being because it may come back to haunt you.