By Sandrea
Everyone would agree that the best ways to raised children is in a loving and stable two parent family. Although some children goes off the rail even with two parents to guide them, the vast majority of children that live with both parents, tend to achieve much more than single parent family. So it makes what I am about to say controversial.
Most individuals will tell you that when they began a serious relationship it is with the intention that are going to be with their partner for life, however this is a dream more so than a reality. Because in today’s promiscuous society relationship that last the test of time are few and far between.
So when a relationship break down, especially when there are children, it is important that no one stay in any unhealthy relationship and used the children as the reasons that they are allowing themselves to be unhappy.
Adults should not be fooled in believing that children do not pick up on negatives vibes within their environment and the last thing any child want is to have two bickering parent around them. It is very counter-productive and children will grow up believing that relationship are meant to be like that.
If your relationship fail and there are children involve the important thing to ensure is that when you leave your children needs are still met, you must maintain the relationship with your children and ensure that they know that it is not them that you leave but the unhealthy relationship.
I know that you can split from a relationship and your children do no have to suffer, and an example that I am aware of is where a close friend of mine and her children’s father who had been together for almost 15 years decide that they no longer feel the same way about each other and they separate. Those children still had their father in their lives, she ensure that there was a amicable relationship with him, involved him in all decision that concerned the kids and the most important aspects of this is that the children never saw their parents being disrespectful to each other.
Although their children are now in their twenties they still remains a bond between them that has been strenghten over the years that their children can be proud of. Seeing their parents as friends, knowing that their father was a constant part of their lives even though both parents were not living under the same roof.
It is intolerable for anyone to raised children in an unhealthy situation. Parents must put their children first and it is not putting the welfare of your children’s first if you languish in a relationship that has lost all hope of being a happy one. Using your children as leverage because of a fear of going out on your own is in my view a deplorable thing to do.
The majority of time when relationship breaks down it is the man that leaves, it is in the rarest of times that a woman will leave a relationship leaving her children with their fathers.
In my opinion, I would suggest that if your relationship has gone ‘pear shaped’ and you have to leave, do make sure that you children do not suffer as a result of you leaving, be a part of their lives, keep the relationship with your children very tight, and make sure they know that you love them.
Do not stay in any relationship that is unhappy and use your kids to justify being in the relationship.
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