Me, me, me!

HAVE you ever asked yourself, “Why is it that my relationships never seem to last? Is it about me or is it about the partners I have had?”

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is it I want out of relationship? Are my expectations too high?

2. Am I too accommodating or too patient?

3. Am I too selective or impatient?

4. Do I usually lower my standards and abandon my value system?

5. Do I use the relationship as a psychological crutch to compensate for the absence of love and affection in my childhood?

6. Am I usually involved in rebound relationships?

7. Am I ready for a committed relationship?

8. What is it I want out of relationship? Are my expectations too high?

Sometimes we enter a relationship with expectations that our partner can’t fulfil, or maybe these expectations were never even communicated in the first place. When these expectations are not met with that person we terminate that relationship and move on to the next person with the hope of fulfilling those expectations with someone else.

Am I too accommodating or too patient?

Sometimes we get involved with someone who has glaring problems but we are in denial about these issues until they overwhelm us. This partner may ask for forgiveness for the eleventeenth time. We pardon them today and next week they commit the same indiscretions.

Am I too selective?

Some people in their bid to find the ‘right’ partner move from one relationship to the next in quick succession. They tend to walk around with a profile of ‘Mr/Ms Right’ and when they don’t find the match, they terminate the relationship after a few months.

Do I usually lower my standards and abandon my value system?

In order to please the partner or secure the relationship some people (especially Christians) completely disregard their moral teachings and engage in activities that are primarily geared to satisfy the partner. They soon realise that this lifestyle is not fulfilling and terminate the relationship forthwith.

Do I use the relationship as a psychological crutch to compensate for the absence of love and affection in my childhood?

People who enter relationships with the intention of filling a psychological void in their life tend to be very clingy which sometimes drives the other person away, as such, the relationship is short-lived

Am I usually involved in rebound relationships?

Entering a new relationship as soon as you leave one is usually a recipe for disaster. It makes a lot of sense to spend some time to do a post-mortem (evaluation) of the past relationship so that you will avoid the mistakes made.

Am I ready for a committed relationship?

If you are not ready to settle down and your partner is, chances are he or she will walk when they realise that you are not serious.

A relationship is serious investment that will only survive in an atmosphere of love, commitment and honesty.