I was locked up, beaten and sexually abused

Written by: Sandrea

Stories like these are far too frequent among the black community.

I was astonished when I research the stats on the number of black female that have been abused by spousal violence.  to my total dismay I found out that “Black females experienced domestic violence at a rate 35% higher than white females, and 22 times the rate of other women.

Listen, you women need to wake up.  This is the 21st century and not the dark ages.  Let me just stress, there is no way in hell any man could put his hand on me or assault me in any way shape or form.  The first time that your other-half shows any sign of violence towards you is – hit the road jack. You do not hang around to see. – come on

I am of the belief that children do not live together as man and wife or girlfriend and boyfriend, so in that realm if you are a married couple, co-habiting as mature adults then you do so as adults, not one dominating the other, much more to physical abuse them.

The number of women that I have spoken to since I found out about the stats, that tell me that their husbands or boyfriend has physically abuse them, and yet they stay with them – I asked why?  The answers I get baffled me, “I love him”.  I love him my ass, somebody beating the crap out of you everyday then turn around and tell you that he love you is bull.  When you love something you cherish it nuture it, not batter it everyday.

Casting my mind back, I remember  there was a time when my husband believe I was one of those women that he could control and the first time he mentioned that he was going to “boxed me” well, lets just say that he never ever got the chance to try it and I ensure that I did not end up in prison.

What kind of society we have when so many women, especially Black women are experiencing domestic violence.  Why are my sisters allowing themselves to undergo these violent men.  I do not care what the circumstances are, NO WOMAN SHOULD ALLOW A MAN TO PHYSICALLY ABUSE HER.

When you meet man and he starts to isolate you from your friends and or family that is a warning sign that something is not right.  Women you have to love yourselves first.  You cannot put some crusty-ass man above you.  Relationship is about 50/50 and if you are giving 70% than something is wrong.

The next thing that is even more frightening is that when these woman are been beaten, where are the children, if there are children in the relationship, and if so do women not think that, especially boys, seeing their fathers abusing their mothers that these children are going to grow up thinking this is the norm and they will behave the same way.

It is not just physical abuse that women should not tolerate from their spouse.  Verbal abuse is equally damaging.

I would love for someone to tell me how is it possible to be of such low esteem that any woman would allow themselves to be abused either physically, verbally and sexually, please.  Maybe, because I am strong-willed person I cannot understand it , I cannot wrap my head around any woman allowing this to happen to them.  I would be more than willing to hear why would women allow this.  I do not want to hear crap like, I love him , I have to think of the children, I have no money, I have nowhere else to go.  All of those are excuses, so there as to be something else and I would very much like to be enlighten.

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