MANY times in relationships, women get so comfortable that they no longer make an effort to show their men that they really matter to them. In fact, some have even taken their relationship for granted by transforming their lovers into ‘yard boys’ and ‘errand lackeys’.
There is a clear and present danger in this practice as outlined by counselling psychologist Tesha Walker-Brown.
“Every relationship comes with its own challenges and there are several approaches that may be utilised in addressing these. Many couples put on a grand exhibition in the early stages of the relationship, especially during the initial ‘getting to know you’ period,” she said. “Here, we may not necessarily be telling a lie, but all our good manners are on display.”
She said when we get the mate, we then feel we don’t necessarily have to work that hard again because we now have the person.
“Many couples, in particular, women, get so caught up with the other things that took second place or a back seat during the initial stages [of courtship] that the person that once was once priority now takes the back seat. We now move through the motion that is oftentimes referred to as being ‘too comfortable’,” she said.
This can mean:
1. To some it may mean that now I am relaxed and I don’t have to worry about my little inhibitions because my partner makes me feel comfortable.
2. To some it may mean that I become so relaxed that what was once priority is not given the same amount of attention.
3. To some it may mean life becomes a cycle and you now go through the motions, becoming boring.
“If you value your relationship and want for it to work then you certainly need to inject some excitement,” Walker-Brown said.
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