THERE is a practice among some persons, where they engage in sexual intercourse but they have no obligation or commitment to the other person. The association is described as “friends with benefits”.
The parties in the friends with benefits arrangement establish clearly the rules of engagement. They meet at an agreed time and place and at the end of the liaison, they both go their separate ways and neither expects the other to follow up with a phone call.
The people involved may be co-workers, business associates, casual acquaintances, ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands and ex-wives, house/flat mates, old schoolmates, present classmates etc. Whatever the configuration, the participants understand that the interaction is strictly superficial with no potential for growth and development.
Although on the surface this arrangement might appear to be appealing as it offers a guaranteed sexual component to the contract, the cons far exceed the pros.
Let us look at some of the downsides:
* Invariably one of the parties will want to take the relationship to the next level. Most times it is the woman who is unable to isolate her emotions from the sexual activity.
* Sometimes the man may become possessive and want to insist that the woman be exclusive to him.
* When sex is introduced in the relationship among friends, it changes the dynamics of the interpersonal relationship and sometimes results in conflicts.
* Sexual relationships between co-workers can also lead to discord between the participants as well as other employees.
* If as a woman this is your preferred way of handling your sexual needs, be advised that you may have difficulty in the future developing wholesome relationships that are not driven by sex.
* If as a man you want engage every co-worker or friend in this sex-only arrangement, soon they will discover your motive and stay clear of you.
* Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy comes along and complicates matters.
* Sometimes in the heat of the moment, the couple engages in unprotected sex which could lead to the contracting of a sexually transmitted infection.
So as you contemplate the possibility of engaging in a friends-with-benefits arrangement, think well before you act. Research indicates that there are myriad of challenges that are associated with such an arrangement.
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