By Sandrea
Over the last few days I have been reading a lot of advice columns regarding mother-in laws and the way they are making their daughter-in-laws feel and I can relate to this.
My personal experience with my Mother-in-law (now deceased) was far from an amicable one. When I was introduced to her, she made it very plain that she did not believe that I was the right person for her son, and she would rather her son go out with another female. What she failed to understand was that I was not the shy introverted kind of person who would allow her to disrespect me and let her get away with it.
I told her in no uncertain terms that I was having a relationship with her son and whether she liked it or not that was irrelevant as she cannot bear her son children and the fact that she may be his mother does in no way make me afraid of, or concern about her opinions, she did not know anything about me, bad or good and until she was in a position to judge me and my character then her words were meaningless to me.
So, her son and I when about having our relationship and I gave her, her first two grandchildren, and we began to communicate, I allowed her to organise both of our children christenings, and she became a big part of her grandchildren life. Needless to say we became the best of friends and until the day she passed away she and I never did have another harsh word to say against each other.
Women needs to understand that the great majority of mother do not think any women is good enough for their sons and some mother will tolerate their son’s choice of partner even if they do not like them. However, you have the mother-in-laws from hell who will do everything in their power to make their daughter-in-laws life a living hell and the one thing that daughter-in-laws should never do is to allow them to get away with it.
You need to play these nightmare mother-in-laws at their own games. Listed below are some points that I believe that you should do to stop nightmare mother-in-laws in their tracks
1. Do not let them bully you.
2. Do not let them destroy your self esteem.
3. Make sure her son is aware of the manner in which his mother is treating you.
4. Stand your ground every time she tries to put you down or make you feel less of a person.
5. Remind her that she does not necessary have to like you, but she has to respect you.
6. Do not let her take over the running of your relationship; it is your relationship, not hers.
7. Be firm without being disrespectful
8. Do not let her come into your home and tell you how to run it.
It is desirable to have your mother-in-law as an intricate part of your life, but if she is a nightmare mother-in-law you can still maintain an effect relationship with the sons so long as you do not allow his mother to run your life or his.
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