REVENGE.

You think it’s the only way to get back at him, to let him get a taste of the maddening hurt and betrayal you have been feeling. His male friend, associate or even his cousin are all good candidates to play the part of the ‘other guy’.

Is what’s good for the goose, good for the gander?

Actually, no. According to counselling psychologist Faith St Catherine, you might be setting yourself up for more trouble than it is worth and rather ‘jumping out of the fire and into the frying pan’.

“I am a firm believer that two wrongs do not make a right,” St Catherine said. “If there is a problem and you want to correct it, don’t correct it in a way that is going to make more problems for you.”

She said a woman cheating on her man because he cheated on her will undoubtedly cause repercussions. She noted that there will be other people involved who might get hurt as well, because if there are children, they too might be negatively affected.

“If you have a relationship with someone just to get back at somebody, what happens to the person you are having that relationship with? Is it fair to the person to enter into a relationship because you want to get back at somebody else?” St Catherine said.

She noted that people should get into relationships because they are attracted to each other, and because the relationship will be mutually beneficial to both parties.

Repeatedly, St Catherine reminds women that they cannot solve a problem by creating a problem, emphasising the importance of maintaining one’s self-respect.

“When you are in that state, you are upset, you are angry and very vulnerable, so you may jump in the arms of somebody you really don’t want to be with and then you have a whole set of problems coming,” she said..