By Sandrea
DONNA’S STORY
It would appear that there are a lot of women who believe that ‘being the other woman’ is fun it is fantastic because they have the man but they do not have the responsibility that goes with having a relationship.
They are what is known in circle as the ‘kept woman’ and they seems to enjoy every moment in the spotlight, but behind all the so-called enjoyment their lies a sadness that comes with these kind of relationships.
The story below depicts that there is an unhealthy factor of ‘being the other woman’.
Let us call this person Donna, not her real name. Donna met this man four years ago and she met him at a time when he claimed, he was going through a bad period in his current relationship and he really needed a shoulder to cry on and she provided that shoulder. However, in a about six months the friendship turned into a sexual one and she became the ‘other woman’. She provided all the physical needs for this man, he would see her every day and night and although he was constantly complaining about the woman he resided with, he has, according to him she (the woman he lived with), has not provided him with any affection or physical needs for a very long time, but yet he seems to be unable to walk away from her.
Donna, did not feel any remorse or believe that she was doing anything wrong because she felt really sorry for this man and therefore, provided him with more than sexual gratifications she felt she gave him hope, and she believe that she was empowering him to be strong in order that he would extricate himself from his so-called bad relationship.
However, after three years, she began to realise that although she was being the other woman with promises that he was going to leave this so-called bad relationship that he claimed he was in, the years were just dragging by and there was no change whatsoever with this man, he was still going home to the very same woman he complained so often about, saying that from the time that she became pregnant and have the child , they did not have any sexual contact at all, so Donna could not understand why he was still with her, and she began to realise that this is a waste of her time and energy, and being the ‘other woman was not all it cracked up to be.
How could he be telling her that he has not has any sexual relationship with the woman he lived with for more than three years, yet he was somehow compelled to stay with her and she (Donna) was the one who was providing him with sex and giving him emotional stability. It suddenly dawned on her that all that she was doing is allowing this man to remain in an unhealthy relationship because he could satisfy his physcial need with her and then happily go home to his woman indoors.
Donna made a conscious move to terminate the relationship, she felt that she has been used and abused and that she could no longer continued ‘being the other woman‘ she wanted more.
As Donna stated that if you are in such a relationship, then you need to get out, it is counter-productive and regardless of what you believe that you are getting from these kind of relationships in the long run all they do is run you down , eventually drain your energy and you never wins. All the promises that these men may give to you are all bull and all that you are to them is the link in the chain that keep the chain intact.
To date, Donna is happy she has found a relationship that is healthy, she is the only woman in this relationship and her partner has only eyes for her, she just wanted her story out there so that any other woman how is currently in this type of relationship can made the effort to break free, as she said, don’t allow yourself to be labelled ‘ the other woman’.
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