WHILE many women refuse to admit to getting to the top position in their companies by subtly or overtly flirting with, or even sleeping with their bosses, well-known psychologist Dr Leachim Semaj, CEO of The Job Bank, said this practice is common at every level in the Jamaican workplace, as women will use their sexuality and men will facilitate it.
“There are tools that men have and tools that women have,” Dr Semaj explained.”If a man is not able to get what he wants by the structure needed, he will use strength and violence and so on, but women have been socialised to use sexuality — the promise thereof, or the actual event.”
As a result, many women have been known to use their allure to get male bosses to move them up the ladder without the usual requirement of hard work or qualifications. Some even succeed in getting paid high salaries that surpass those of their male counterparts.
“Lots of men respond to women, whatever the context,” Dr Semaj said. “Just because the promise of, or the hope of, or the wish of all kinds of things. So once the woman gives that kind of a vibe, the man will facilitate her.”
Lorna W, who is now heading towards retirement, confessed to using her allure to climb the company ladder.
She said she remembers in vivid detail how hard it was 35 years ago to make a mark as a woman in the workplace without “resorting to drastic measures to get yourself recognised”.
With hardly an ounce of regret, the now 60 year old said she — on the advice of a colleague — did everything from flirt to lie, which had her moving from office attendant to supervisor and eventually middle manager in the beverage company where she spent most of her working life.
“That time all the top managers were men, all the supervisors were men, and the women who squeezed in had to work like hell,” she said from her home in Miami, where she is now in another job and facing retirement.
“I remember one time this colleague of mine — good friend who was promoted to supervisor after 15 years — told me that it made no sense to wait as long as she did, and to just try to use my looks to see what I could do.”
The woman, still a striking beauty, said she followed the advice, and embarked on a mission that would have her flirting with everyone worthy of being shown attention, and feeding the egos of the men in power, so she could get promoted.
“And it worked,” she laughed. “It worked faster than it would ever have worked if I had gone the ‘work/study/hope for promotion’ route.”
She said while she never actually slept with any of the men she flirted with, she went as far as to kiss a middle manager and “allow him to touch” her, as she knew that he was her key to the supervisory position she wanted.
“The position came up, and like usual we all knew one of the men would probably get it,” she said. “But it was the perfect position for me. It fit in with my degree, and would give me the challenge I needed, so I seduced him.”
She said afterwards, she kept mentioning the manager’s wife and children, in a subtle attempt to have him see what he stood to lose.
“Within two weeks after that, I was confirmed in the position, and made history as only the third woman in the company to be at that level or higher,” she said.
Within eight years she said she too was a middle manager, and she spent another several years at the company, before migrating.
Dr Semaj said the practice of using sex or sexual allure to gain workplace favour is still quite popular today in just about every job sector.
“It is popular — in the factory, the woman who deh wid the supervisor, or uses her relationship with the supervisor so she has to get the bettership; in the security guard industry, the one who deh wid the boss or deh wid the supervisor. We have had some very messy situations in financial institutions where a number of senior women have been able to facilitate movement as a result of their involvement with the most senior person. But we don’t talk about these thing as such,” the psychologist said.
He said while there are some women who will, from a principled standpoint, never use their sexuality to climb the promotional ladder, there are many who believe that once the option exists, they should use it.
Like Lorna, Gloria, who asked that we use just her middle name for this story, said she found using her “womanly wiles” were enough to land her position after position in every company she worked at since she started working at 19.
Now 34, the accountant said though she’s educated, she found that men were more responsive, and more willing to work with her when she flirted and “acted like a bimbo”.
“Everybody from the men in technology to the man who washes my car, to the board of directors — you have to flatter them, feed their egos, let them feel they could get you if they tried,” she said.
She admitted to sleeping with a “higher up” just once, not because he promised her anything, but because she knew that in doing the act, she would curry favours with him.
“It worked,” she laughed. “After that, just the fact that he had that over everybody’s heads, I think, made him extra generous towards me, and soon after that I got a company car and a raise.”
She said after that, years after, she was able to accumulate points – whether in gifts, promotions or raises – “simply because of how I looked or acted.”
“I know this because there were other women in my position – similarly educated, similar experience — that never got promoted in the ways I did,” she said.
Said Dr Semaj: “There are in every context — at the social context, at the professional context — men who will facilitate [a woman like this], whatever she needs. It happens at every level of an organisation. That is why many companies have to have rules about it.”
And added Lorna: “I have no regrets, at that time I did what I felt I had to do. Would I do it again? It wouldn’t be necessary because things have changed now. In workplaces it’s more about merit than about gender, at least in the majority of the workplaces in the world today.”
Be the first to comment