WHILE popular opinion leans toward the theory that most men are cheaters, the fact of the matter is that this is far from the truth. Faithfulness is indeed possible and there are Jamaican men who live a life free from cheating, thus making their spouses and by extension their homes a place of joy.
Sounds like a fairytale? Nicholas Eccleston, known in the music industry as DJ Nicholas, Ryan Mark, a popular reggae gospel singer, and Harett Wilson not only say men do not have to cheat, but live the life they preach.
Last Friday DJ Nicholas celebrated his fifth wedding anniversary and during those years, he has never once slept with another woman nor given another woman time, money or emotional support that his wife was entitled to.
“Of course it’s possible for men not to cheat,” DJ Nicholas told All Woman. “I never knew of my father cheating on my mom, I have also been married for five years and have never cheated and with the help of God will stay faithful until death do us part.”
He says his reasons for not cheating are many.
“I don’t want to disobey God, I don’t want to scar my marriage, I don’t want to hurt my wife and as a male I must have devotion, commitment and faithfulness. Ministry is also very important, protecting the ministry also helps me not to [cheat].”
While staying faithful may be a daily fight for many men, the gospel artiste says despite sinful desires, it is still easy to be faithful.
“Even as a Christian you still have sinful desires in the flesh,” he explains. “In the flesh it’s easier to think wrong than right, but you have to always be on guard and make the right decisions, what I do is try avoid down to the very appearance of evil.”
And for those who feel that cheating is a natural thing, Nicholas says: “It can’t be [that cheating is a natural thing], that means there is no commitment or faithfulness. They [cheating men] have no self-control, I would say it’s also selfish and inconsiderate,” he says.
“Ask them this, would they want their wife to cheat on them? And from a Christian point of view it’s disobedience to God’s word, and a man that cheats is not suppose to remarry, it’s called adultery, that’s how serious God takes it.”
Ryan Mark
Mark too says it is possible to live and not cheat. He has been married for three years, and while the temptations have presented themselves, he says it is nothing short of the word of God that has kept him faithful.
“It is possible (to not cheat) but you have to live by the word of God. That is the only thing that can keep you. When a man don’t fear God, you’re prone to do anything. So the men who are faithful you will mostly find them in the church.”
Mark says before he became a Christian he had a ‘woman issue’ and ended up going into the church to get a woman. However, he met God there. As a result, he says he now ensures that he stays away from having female friends, thus preventing him from giving in to the lust of the flesh. This has helped in his desire to stay faithful for the past three years. He added that having one woman has many advantages.
“One, the word of God says one man to one woman. And two, there is just too much to lose. You have things like STDs and it [cheating] carries a lot of emotional wreckage that is damaging to any human being.”
Mark says cheating is almost like walking on the road and seeing a car coming and stepping out into the pathway of that vehicle, knowing full well it is going to hit you.
“It is not worth the heartache, time and pain that comes with it,” he concludes.
Harett Wilson
“Not cheating is very much possible,” Wilson, who has been married for eight years told All Woman. “The temptations are there and women present themselves, but when you weigh the pros and cons, you realise it is not worth it.”
And as a testament to his fidelity, Wilson says he has two cellphones and while others may find it shocking, he allows his wife to answer them at any given time, without any hesitation.
“I don’t have anything to hide. I leave any of my phones with my wife. If she is leaving the house and don’t have credit on her phone I give her mine. So anybody who calls me can talk to her.”
And again, he says he is not a cheater simply because he chooses not to be.
“People have presented themselves and made offers, but I just don’t do it. If you cheat and your wife finds out, it leads to separation and if I find out that my wife cheats, I would just take the kids and leave and she wouldn’t even know where I am, so it really isn’t worth it.”
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