The worst pick-up lines, ever
HIS aim is to win you over; oftentimes he succeeds in pushing you away with the absurdity of his pick-up lines, many times fed to him by clueless friends. With the changing times, red roses and blue violets have given way to crass and often slimy pick-up lines, some of which — actual lines, believe us — we share below.
“My girl, I would climb a macka (thorn) tree naked to get you!” Apparently this man was eager to make just about any sacrifice for Ann, who was in stitches when she related the story of the man, nearly three times her junior, approaching her eagerly.
“My girl, beg you your digits (phone number) nuh? You don’t have to give me all seven. Give me ‘bout five or six, I will make up the rest!”
“I am attracted to your provocative chest hair and strong legs.” — OK, so this one is a classic! And obviously can only be used on some women — you know, those with chest hair and visibly strong legs! “If I told you that you had a nice body, would you come home with me?”
“Mi can come home with yuh tonight? You want to adopt this little lost boy.” — Street seller, Three Miles, rush hour.
“I would love to suck on those lips of yours. No? My girl, how you fi treat me so?”
“My girl, what’s you name again, Oh Bev? A me man! You don’t remember me? Yes man, a me same one from Mandeville. Nuh you name Bev? Mi know you man! A weh you name again?” — He then proceeds to find out if you’re related to ‘Bev’ because the resemblance is so striking.
“My girl, you don’t tired? Because all night long you were running all over my mind!” “I have heard this one more than once, but each time I hear it, I have the same reaction,” Michelle says. “It cracks me up!”
“Is mus you name Eve, ‘cause I woulda eat your apple right now.”
“I wish you were my homework, so I could do you on my desk all night!”
“When you going back? The way you sweet you must be an angel straight out of Heaven!”
(He calls a number ) “Hello, who is this? (Calls a name). It look like I have the wrong number, but I just love your voice. This is Popcaan (entertainer). How about if we meet and go someplace nice? You don’t believe me? Alright, let me let you talk to my father, Vybz. (Proceeds to shout out loudly ‘Kartel, come talk to this lady here!’)” — “This was in the middle of the night and you could even hear a man answering in the background too,” Karina told All Woman. “I was so upset. And then he had the nerve to ask if he could call me back!”
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