Behaving more like men could help women boost their sex lives, eat healthier and stress less.
But that would mean bitching less, not focusing as much on perfection and worrying less about being on a diet. Becoming more comfortable with being sexually aroused would also help improve a woman’s sex life, according to experts.
A registered psychologist and director at Auckland’s MindWorks clinic, Sara Chatwin, said many women aired their problems with too many people and gossiped mercilessly among friends.
Men, on the other hand, tended to keep their problems to themselves or asked advice from one trusted person – something women could learn from. “Women are more likely to canvas a raft of friends about an issue, whereas men are more self-contained,” said Chatwin. “It is often really problematic, the way women gossip, and really anxiety-inducing.”
Chatwin said women should adopt the male “can-do” attitude. “We should stop gossiping and start acting. Men make decisions well.” Chatwin said women who focused too much on being perfect – whether it involved keeping the bathroom clean to not having a hair out of place – could also be doing themselves a disservice.
In the bedroom, women generally had things under control. But Wellington-based sexologist Michelle Mars said women could work on arousal.
“Men are comfortable with the idea of being aroused,” said Mars. “Women are less likely to say that something ‘turns them on’. They’re just not as comfortable with it but getting aroused is what makes all those feel-good hormones.
“I say to my clients that getting aroused at least once a day can make you feel sexier and can improve your sex life.” When it came to nutrition, women may be good at noting the calories and fat content in certain foods – but were not as good as sticking to dietary changes and avoiding “emotional eating”.
Nutritionist Claire Turnbull said emotional eating often became a coping mechanism for stress. “For women, eating chocolate when you are down and ice cream when you are sad seems to be the norm. For men, it’s socially normal to toughen up and get on with it,” said Turnbull.
“[Women] need to learn new coping strategies for the difficult situations we face.” Turnbull said while men and women would need to do quite different things to lose weight or tone up, women could learn motivational skills from men. “I think a lot of women could learn a thing or two from men when it comes to procrastination about exercise,” she said.
“Men seem to be able to just get up and go to the gym or on a run, but women think, ‘Will I? Won’t I? Fat day, sore knee,’ before they can get out of bed.”
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