My sister was married, but the relationship was verbally and physically abusive, so she moved out with her children and has been living with our parents for about two years now. Her husband refuses to give her a divorce and he does not give the children anything. They hardly go to school. He stabbed her in her head about two years ago and he begged her not to press charges and she forgave him. In May this year, my sister and I were at my cousin’s house at a party and he came there and saw her dancing with a guy. He used his fist to punch her in her head and she passed out. We had to lift her to put her in the car and in the wheelchair when we got to the hospital. They gave her an injection to ease the pain and she was observed for four hours then released. When we went to the police station they said there were no bruises and swelling so they cannot lock him up, but they sent her to the court’s office to take out a restraining order.
When she went, they told her she would have to have a bruise and a letter from the police so she did not get through. The husband said he cannot be locked up because he has friends at the station. I do not know what to do. My mom and dad are so stressed. We fear the next time he will come to do more damage that leads to a funeral. Please advise on our next step.
Clearly, your sister has been struggling with the victimisation by her husband, which cowered and eroded her confidence. However, you say about two years ago, she found the will and courage to move out of the matrimonial home with the children.
The children were also clearly victims of the abuse — they would have witnessed some, if not all, of the abuses — and it was therefore a good move to get them out of that harmful environment.
You say that he refuses to give her a divorce. I do not know what you mean by this. He does not need to agree to a divorce if she petitions the court for it. She has more than enough grounds to demonstrate that her marriage has irretrievably broken down. So, why is she waiting for him to either file the petition for the divorce or for him to consent to her petitioning for a divorce?
They have been separated for two years now, according to your letter. The law requires separation for 12 months before the petition is filed. Your sister needs wait no longer to free herself from that brute. Tell her not to wait and extend the time wherein her husband believes, however wrongly, that he has any say in how she can or wants to live her life. He has no such right.
This leads me to his continuing acts of abuse, even though they are separated. If you have quoted the police correctly when she, with you, went to report his punching of her head which caused her to lose consciousness, then they were wrong to turn you all away. The fact that bruising and swelling was not then visible is not the test of a breach of the Offences Against the Person Act.
They should have sent her, with the usual note, to be examined medically, so that they could later collect a medical report of her injuries. It was not for the police to make the decision not to prosecute, they should have had the medical input. They decided it was a minor assault warranting a private prosecution, it seems.
Your sister’s husband had clearly breached the law. I do not like hearing what he said about, in effect, having the police in his pocket. Your sister should, however, not let this defeat her. She should have insisted on seeing the officer in charge of the station!
I also cannot understand why the clerk of the court’s office would tell your sister that in order for her to apply for and obtain a restraining order, she had to have a bruise and a letter from the police. This is nonsense if, again, you have related what happened correctly. This seems to relate to criminal proceedings and not proceedings for protective orders.
You have not stated where you and your sister reside. If it is in a parish where there is a Family Court, she should go there and make her application for protection orders under the Domestic Violence Act. If there is no Family Court for your parish, then she should go to the Resident Magistrate’s Court and tell them she wishes to make an application for protection orders under the Domestic Violence Act.
An application for protection orders under the Domestic Violence Act is not a criminal proceeding. It is a civil action which enables the court to make orders for the protection of the applicant and the children of the family, if this is necessary.
When your sister makes this application, she could also make an application for orders to be made for the maintenance of her children. The court also has power, on the hearing of an application for protective orders under the Domestic Violence Act, to itself decide to make an order for the maintenance of the applicant and/or her children when evidence is brought to its notice that the respondent is failing to provide maintenance or (as in your sister’s case) he is openly refusing to do so.
Remember that an application under the Domestic Violence Act does not bar criminal charges being laid and tried for the physical attack and injury.
However, whilst your sister and the children have the support of your parents and she is within the security of their home, she should move to get protection orders as soon as possible. It is not too late for her to apply, though his last attack happened in May, because from your account, it is clear that your sister is more than likely to be attacked by her husband again.
Just the fear of such an occurrence happening and not knowing when, gives her the grounds to apply. The mental anguish and the suffering of such a life is sufficient for her to get a protection order. She must, however, relate his physical attacks on her and any verbal abuses and threats he has made against her in support of her application.
Please tell your sister not to wait, but to act at once to get the protection orders, her divorce, and most importantly, custody, care and control of the children and maintenance orders for them.
If her husband breaches the protection orders, he would be arrested, without a warrant, on a report to the police when she must show them a certified copy of the protection order. She must remember to get her own copy to keep with her at all times. He will then be taken before the court and he could be very severely dealt with by the court for his breach.
Feel free to contact me again if your sister needs more help for her to proceed to protect herself and her children, and to free herself and obtain provision for her children. It will trouble me to know she is going on without the protection which the law can give to her and her children. I would like to know that she has acted or if she needs assistance, so please write again and let me know.
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