Question: I am a 16-year-old girl, and I have a problem. My ex-boyfriend (off and on) took a break with me over the summer because we thought it would be all right to be free for the summer.
I went on vacation, and he called me the first night. He said he would call me the next day. He didn’t. I was gone for a week, and when I came back home, I found that my best friend’s relationship status on Facebook was “In a relationship.” I congratulated her, but she didn’t say who it was.
So I start to talk to my ex, and he said “Did you know ____ likes me, and liked me while we were dating?” I said “WHAT? I had no clue! ” and he said “Yeah, and the funny thing is I’m kinda dating her.” My heart stopped at that moment.
They broke up two weeks later. I asked why, and he told me she was really mad and then said, “I’m going to ask her back out, so “…”
It’s now been two months and 20 days, and we are still talking on Facebook. Recently, I was at another friend’s house and my friend asked him to call me. We talked for three hours and he said, “We just click. Every time we talk, I feel like I need and should be with you!” I laughed, and we talked some more. He then said, “I may break up with her, you know? Not for you, but for me.”
I feel really bad for going behind her back. Should I make him chose? — Confused
Answer: Slow down. Take a breath. Regroup. Take a few minutes, or days, to clear your mind so you can think clearly and see things in a more realistic manner.
Simply put: He is playing both of you. And you are allowing it. If he is with her, then he should not be Facebooking you and telling you that you guys “click together.” If he chooses to be with you, then he needs to end the relationship with her. Period.
He is disrespecting you and disrespecting your best friend. And again, you are allowing it. He does not care about either of your feelings.
You are 16. Stop spending your time chasing someone who treats you so disrespectfully. Mend your friendship with your best friend. Vow to not let another boy come between two girlfriends.