You couldn’t make-up this

WARRING parents Jordan and Peter Andre called in COPS and LAWYERS during a row about their daughter’s “black eye” – that turned out to be smudged MASCARA.

Their bizarre reactions reveal the lengths the former husband and wife go to to avoid talking, pals say. They’re so desperate to score points against each other that they pounce on any suggestion the other is a bad parent.  One friend told us: “They both need to grow up and stop wasting people’s time.”  We can also reveal Jordan, 31, is undergoing IVF to have a baby with new hubby Alex Reid, who has a low sperm count. Her latest row with her ex- husband was over their youngest child, two-year-old Princess Tiaamii.

The toddler, who had mascara on her eyelashes, her brother Junior, four, and half-brother Harvey, seven, were picked up from Jordan’s by Peter’s cousins on Friday. But on the way to his house in Brighton, East Sussex, Princess’s make-up got smudged. And when she arrived, her dad, 37, called his lawyers. They then got in touch with Jordan’s legal team to tell them his concerns over “bruising” on the little girl’s face.  That led to Jordan – real name Katie Price – phoning the police, apparently with worries over the toddler’s well-being. So officers visited Peter’s home that day. But last night a Sussex Police spokesman said: “We have no concerns for the child’s welfare, and the matter has been closed.” After their visit, Pete took the kids to a local Italian restaurant.

The pal told us: “It shows how bad rela- tions have got between Katie and Peter that they can’t even talk to each other – and are desperately looking for signs the other is a bad parent even though they both dote on the kids. “It’s amazing they would rather go to their lawyers and the police over something that could be easily sorted if they just picked up the phone and spoke to each other. “And it is shocking they are using the kids against each other in this way.” It is not the first time Jordan’s insistence on dolling-up her daughter has caused a rift between the pair.

In February, Peter said he was “disgusted” at pictures of Princess wearing make- up and false eyelashes on the internet. But Jordan is now reportedly planning to launch a make-up range for kids – with Princess as a possible model. Meanwhile the mum-of-three is having IVF for a baby with cage-fighter Alex, 34.  A close pal said: “Katie and Alex really want a child to cement their relationship. But he’s had a problem with a low sperm count and it is proving difficult for Katie to conceive. “They’ve been practising a lot but it appears Alex is firing blanks, so Katie has turned to IVF to help make it happen.” The news will dispel rumours that Jordan is already pregnant. Last week Alex cheekily said when asked if his wife was expecting: “Maybe, maybe not.” Yesterday Jordan’s spokesman refused to comment. And a friend of Pete’s said: “He would rather this had remained private. It’s dragging the kids into another row. They don’t need it.”

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